My name is Friar Gerald Tan OFM, and I am one of a handful of lay friars in the Franciscan order in Singapore.
In 2020, the year I made my solemn profession of religious vows, I discerned that the Lord was not calling me to the priestly ministry – in other words, not to become an ordained friar – at least, in this foreseeable season in my life as a fully-fledged Franciscan friar.
Choosing the path of becoming a non-ordained religious – what we call a lay friar or Franciscan brother – came to me as a surprise. It was as though the Lord threw a spanner in the works!
Earlier on my discernment journey, although I had been aware of the option of not moving into the ordained state in religious life, I did not understand why anyone would make such a decision and miss out on the “full package” of being ordained.
Being ordained a priest always seemed to be the default choice, since those who are not ordained undertake the same duration of seminary studies as those on the path to ordination.
Others felt it was a waste not to go “all the way”. At first, I believed this too, thinking ordination was the only option. I also feared that if I did not get ordained, I would be seen as lousier, lesser, or in the Singapore lingo, “CMI” (cannot make it).
But closer to my solemn profession, I realised that these “scripts” and socio-cultural beliefs were not at the core of my discernment. This was not about missing out, but instead, about a deep and personal call from the Lord Jesus, and through deeply knowing myself in responding to that call.
Later on, in my journey of formation and discernment, I realised that becoming a priest was just one of the expressions of ministry to God’s people as a Franciscan friar, as there are many other ways that a religious can be called to serve God’s people based on their personal gifts, talents, qualifications, and the needs of the community.
One key question I asked myself during my discernment was, “Do I have the stirring and desire to administer the sacraments?” To be honest, I did not.
I did, however, feel a growing desire to accompany and journey with others through their faith and personal struggles, especially through spiritual direction and other forms of individual and group accompaniment.
This desire to be available to others led me to minister to God’s people, without being an ordained minister of the Church, in four ways.
The first was through being formally trained in the ministry of spiritual direction, which I undertook in 2022. I regularly meet young adults for monthly spiritual direction sessions, and also direct individuals in their personal or silent retreats.
Secondly, I was appointed the local vocation director for the Franciscan Friars in Singapore. This allows me to journey with young men and to help them listen to and discern God’s will and vocational call for them, be it to the Franciscan order, or otherwise.
Thirdly, my theological and spiritual direction training allowed the Lord to use me to journey with young Catholic couples preparing for marriage within the Church.
Finally, a unique way for me to minister to others was through hairstyling, after taking up haircutting courses for men and women.
The Lord inspired me to do this through a YouTube video documenting the ministry of a Friar-barber in America.
Applying this in the local context, I was able to merge the aspect of spiritual direction with the bond between hairstylist and regular patron.
This helped me to bring God into the everyday life of His people, providing a safe space and time for them to share whatever they wanted with me, while getting a nice haircut in the process!
Source: Catholic News
0 Comments